Archive for December, 2007

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“Fatty” is a Term of Endearment

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

How would you like to be known as “The Fat One”? Your answer may reveal a lot about which culture you come from.

North Americans, for example, have been showered for decades with ads designed to instill fear about having body odor, bad breath, body weight, and Head & Shoulders has desperately tried to imply that dandruff flakes belong to the ’so-disgusting- that-you-can’t-be-loved- until-you-purchase-our-product’ list.

Europeans, on the other hand, are not so paranoid about body odor and other such concerns. If you’ve stood in a crowded metro during summer, you may have noticed.

The Spanish frequently refer to overweight children as “gordito” – fatty – and it’s not meant nor taken as a put down.

It doesn’t hurt, of course, that Europe’s biggest lottery is named “The Fat One.” Yep. That’s what El Gordo means in Spanish, as in El Gordo primitiva lottery.

I don’t care where you’re from – you can’t tell me that winning the title “El Gordo” via the lottery won’t make a heck of a lot of people a lot more fond of you.

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The Ups and Downs of Winning

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

With as many lottery winners as the world has made over the past decades, the bank of conventional wisdom regarding how to handle such an over-abundance of good luck has grown quite large.

This wealth of knowledge is drawn from the experiences of some “unlucky” winners. A poster child of luck-gone-sour is Jack Whittaker, who won a $315 million Powerball in December, 2002 – then the larget jackpot ever.

Jack was already a hard-working self-made millionaire when he “struck it rich.” He stayed busy with many business projects, was a good boss and loyal to his employees, donated substantially to churches and local students. But the celebrity nature of his new money focused endless attention on his weaknesses that led to his wife leaving him, his daughter died, his car and home have been repeatedly burglarized, his employees embezeled from his company at least eleven times, and now Jack isn’t sure the winning was worth it.

Here are a few lessons to take from his story as covered by the Associated Press:

1. Don’t lend money to friends, because “of course, once they borrow money from you, you can’t be friends anymore.” Make a game plan to prevent your relationships from being about the money.

2. Make a game plan to prevent people from asking you for money all the time. Set up a foundation or something that considers the merit of each request, for example, and send anyone asking for cash to its web page.

3. Avoid publicity wherever possible, and if you think you’d enjoy the attention, do a little research and make sure you’re right before seeking it. Consider, for example, that Jack has faced  460 legal actions since winning, most of which attempting to get at his money.

And here’s some conventional wisdom that we would all do well to remember now and then:

1. Be grateful for whatever you have. Don’t waste your life looking forward and wishing nor backward and regretting.

2. Your family and friends and reputation are your greatest possessions and nothing will ever change that. Treat them accordingly.

3. Be generous with your means, your love, and your forgiveness.

Yes, you’ve heard them a million times; yes, they sound trite; yes, they’re cliche, but that doesn’t make them any less true.

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How much is Mega?

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

You hear the word everywhere these days – megabytes, megahertz, megamall, megadeath, megamillions. You hear it so much, in so many contexts, that the word begins to lose its meaning.

It’s time to clear things up. In some cases I will report actual fact, while in others, I will propose new measurement standards.

When speaking of computers, a megabyte equals 1,256 bytes. Clearly not the metric system, but as long as your computer doesn’t make you wait, you could probably care less.

When speaking of malls and such developments, mega is advertizing hype, and may be considered accurate if you could feasably spend over 24 hours wandering and never step the same place twice.

When speaking of money, a standard has been set by lotteries such as Mega Millions. A million dollars used to be a lot of money. But with today’s rising cost of living and life expectancies, a million dollars may only cover a moderately lavish retirement. So if jackpots range from about $10 million (take home) to $390 million (March 2007), anything in that range should fit the bill.

When speaking of death, dead is just dead. There’s no such thing as “mostly dead,” despite the movie Princess Bride. Megadeath is a rock band.

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I Want My Euro Millions!

Saturday, December 29th, 2007

Remember the 80’s? Remember Mtv? Remember how you were supposed to “call your cable company and say ‘I want my Mtv!’” Since then cable companies offer hundreds of channels with all types of programming.

You can even feel justified for spending dozens of hours in front of the tube because you’re watching the Discover Channel or the History Channel or whatever programming you happen to value.

I just discovered that Euro Millions is more than just a lottery. You can watch the show every Friday at 10:30 p.m.

Unless, of course, your cable company doesn’t deliver a channel with the show. So call your cable company and say “I want my Euro Millions.”

In the mean time, enjoy this fun Euro Millions ad. If you don’t speak French, all you need to understand is that the guy is explaining how winning millions of Euros hasn’t really changed his daily routine.

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Posted in Euromillions | No Comments »

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